Monday, October 04, 2010


Sorry I have been away for so long, I have been hard at work penning a screenplay for a sequel to the very popular summer movie, The Expendables. The movie was so successful I knew Hollywood would need a sequel. So, for the last six weeks I played online poker and ate flaming hot cheetos, but when I grew tired of that, I went straight to work on this screenplay. Twelve grueling minutes later, I had the final draft. The screenplay stays true to the original, people shooting at other people, but takes it to the next level. The new team of The Expendables is played by out-of-work actors who used to be famous kids, but are now old and strange looking. Thankfully, they still don't have a full time job, so they have already agreed to star in the film.

Here is the final poster, coming soon to your local theater-

Starring (from left to right) Data from Goonies, Atreyu from Neverending Story,The chubby one from The Suite Life with Zack and Cody (his name is either Zack or Cody, and I found out he is 37 years old), Haley Joel Osment (he may have been drunk on the phone, so I dont think he will actually show up to film), Macaulay Culkin, Johnathan Lipnicki (who is also attached to direct), one of the Hansen brothers (arguably the most talented brother), Aladdin( I couldn't  find a recent picture, but he is confirmed), and re-introducing Air Bud(with the Busch's Baked Bean's dog as our back up).

I will pitch it to Hollywood once I find their phone number. I can't wait! It should be Expendable!

Special thanks to Tony Rosenast, who helped birth this promising addition to the first Expendable movie.


Opto-Mom said...

This movie is going to ROCK!

Do you see Culkin as the precocious tyke in "Home Alone" or as the evil spawn in "The Good Son?"

Jim Turner said...

I think Air Bud may already be dead. Better double check on that.

Erik Benson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erik Benson said...

I picture Culkin as the grizzled veteran of the bunch. A seasoned leader with a rogue spirit, much like his role in Home Alone 2.

samacleod said...


Ty Carter said...

so funny!!

Opto-Mom said...

You have received an award, so pop on over to my place to check it out!

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Thankfully, they still don't have a full time job, so they have already agreed to star in the film.
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