CostumeCON

COMIC-CON, the largest comic, film, and strange smell convention in the world is just around the corner. Although I won't be able to go this year, I did some sketches for possible costume ideas for this epic event. I am sure these costumes will be popular and in abundance.

Avatar from Avatar

Thanks to James Cameron, furry fandom is finally mainstream.

The Mad Hatter

Edward from New Moon 

And probably the most popular costume at the Con will be Jennifer Aniston from The Bounty Hunter

German Eye Poker

Something usually goes wrong when I fly and last weekend was no different. I was standing in line thinking about how delightful my trip went when a German guy poked me in the eye.

He was telling security about how he was just over in the other line, his arms and hands were flailing and ended up right in my looking ball.

He was very surprised and apologized profusely for the poke. I just stood there confused and hurt.

Security thought it was hilarious and said "He should buy you a beer!"

TrashFinder

Last week I was on my bike and I spotted a piece of plastic that was perfect for the bottom of my drawing desk. 

It was the right size and shape, but most importantly it had no trash smell.

I've had this super power since I was small. It's like a spidey sense but for garbage nobody wants.

I've even found perfectly good Nintendo 64's from three car lanes away. 

And in my lifetime I have collected over THIRTY SIX DOLLARS in ground money!!! I know what you're thinking, you want me to teach you this power so you can find all this free cash and forgotten treasure. Well to that I say.... this super power cannot be taught... and I'm too lazy to teach you... and I don't want people picking up trash that I can have... and it's more of a curse than a blessing... and with great power comes great responsibility... and nobody likes a guy who goes through garbage.

Although I think Lindsay loves my ability and never ceases to be amazed.

Biker Gangs

Northern California has a lot of bikers and I have fallen victim of the craze. I bike regularly, but its dangerous because Im not affiliated with any of the gangs. In doing some research here are some of the biker gangs I could see myself getting jumped in to.

The Hipster Biker
Very popular in northern California, but I would need skinnier jeans and a sweet mustache for them to even consider my application.

The Gross Hippie Biker
This gang frequents Venice Beach and Santa Monica. One of the many things I like about the gross hippie gang is their acceptance of others and the membership fees are probably pretty reasonable.

The Really Serious Biker
I don't know if my crotch is willing to commit to this type of biking but I would love the little water backpack sippers.

The Confused Biker
The most dangerous of all biker gangs is the gang of middle aged parents who look really unstable on two wheels. They take their teenagers ten speed and ride it like it was their first time on a bike. People run out of their way in terror. I would love to be a part of a gang so feared in the community.

I see I have some serious decision thinking to do.

Snooki and Me

I had a nightmare last night that Snooki from Jersey Shore was trying to make out with me.

I remember saying "Oh God, please don't, I don't want this."

The Oscars (continued)

Here are some oscars I gave to the people at the oscars:

Best Acceptance Speech- Crazy Redhead For Documentary Short.

I wasn't quite sure what you were saying. You came out of nowhere and I still don't know if you were supposed to be up there or if you just wanted to pull a Kanye. Either way, I loved your enthusiasm.

Best Unnatural Performance Of A Human Being Ever- Kathy Ireland

I loved how you talked to people on the red carpet like they were three years old. It was great how you never moved your arms and stared at people uncomfortably after the interview was over.

Best Bored Out Your Mind Spouse- Matthew Broderick

Great performance. 

Best Beard- Antonio Banderas

My money was on Brad Pitt but he was a no show.

And last but not least.

Best Use Of Bubble Wrap- Jlo