Monday, May 03, 2010

JUSTICE IS AGE BLIND!

Over the weekend I saw an old lady in the market eating a bunch of baked goods.

Choking them down like they were an afternoon tea sandwich. She had NO SHAME!

Not twenty four hours later I saw this oldie...


She ripped out a flower plant in front of the bank and put it in her purse. Also, felt NO SHAME!

I realize you old people feel the law doesn't apply to you anymore. You just blame it on your alzheimers, cataracts, or prescription meds, well NO MORE!

Now you will have to deal with THE ANGEL OF DEATH!

That is my crime fighting alter ego. I've done some research and found out old people are scared of death.

Much like Kick-Ass I would patrol the streets, fighting crime between 3pm and 4pm, that's when most of old people do crime, and I would hang out in front of Souplantation on Sundays, and the eye doctor the rest of the week.

Your reign of terror is over. No longer will you violate flower beds, or eat pastries you didn't pay for. You sicken me!
"This donut is so tasty, I swear to God."

"SWEAR TO ME!!"
Sleep soundly tonight younger citizens. Your flower beds and donuts are safe in the hands of The Angel of Death.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh man, the people you get to observe in public...

Simply loved these!! Your expression watching these old ladies cracks me up so much.

I guess I would have called the counter service people at the market to stop the old lady if I was there...

Team Diana said...

Ooh, now I want Souplantation.

Claire said...

Haha! This is awesome! This weekend I was at a wedding and saw an older lady grab an hors d'oeuvre, eat it, and just throw the napkin on the floor of the nice reception hall. There had to be a garbage can no more than 5 feet from her. Later, an older gentleman opened a party favor box, ate the chocolate, and then put the empty box back in with all the others. No shame! Maybe The Angel Of Death needs to visit Georgia and whip some of these seniors into shape.

Joey! said...

This is awesome! All your stuff is awesome. I would definitely read this if it was a comic book.

Catherine Hicks said...

Gold.

Carrie Liao said...

Why stop at justice? Vengeance!

I say rip up their bingo cards.

Coffee with a Stranger said...

I just LOLed while reading this in a coffee shop. I got some odd looks. They think I'm a freak.

It was worth it!

Jason James Curtis said...

Those crazy old bastards.

This was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.

The Teenage Version Of Bridget Jones said...

Hahaha I LOVED this ! I completely agree I work in a wee shop and old ladies are the worst ! They use their grandchildren to skip the queues acting like they can't see everyone looking so annoyed! I love your ninja plan :P

Heather Dixon said...

I need an outfit like that

This blog is brilliant

Florian Satzinger said...

Hahaha, I LOVE your blog!

Sam Nielson said...

I just read through your blog and I don't think I've laughed that hard for a while now. Thank you!

Brandon said...

Sometimes...you just have to put on stretchy pants...and roundhouse a senior citizen:)

Daron said...

DO IT!!! I'm sick of old people stealing stuff

Jmontiel said...

hahahaha, great style!!

Skim said...

you are so hilarious, I love your blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!

John Michael Pesina said...

Man, "SWEAR TO ME!" had me in stitches. This is awesome.

Michael J. Harris said...

I'm late to the party, as I only just saw this yesterday, but I'm with John Michael Pesina - "SWEAR TO ME" absolutely floored me. Gave me the biggest laugh of the day. Thank you for that. Keep up the good work, man.