Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT

I saw an advertisement on TLC for this new show called I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT, no this is not a new Charlie Sheen sitcom, this is a serious show about real life problems. A problem that has taken over America!

The advertisement said, "Coming up on I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT" and they cut to a women screaming on the toilet. I didn't see the episode, but I put two and #2 together and I think I know how it played out. The image of that women has stayed with me, now every time I go to the bathroom, I think, could I be pregnant? Turns out Im not, but here are some questions to ask yourself, so you can figure out whether or not you are preggers.

1. Is there a child in your belly? 
This might seem like a no brainer, but go ahead and feel around. Babies are small, so it might just be hiding under a kidney.

 
2. Are you a woman? 
Women are 72% more likely to have babies then men.

3. Do storks like to hang around you?

If the science is correct, storks have been known to give people babies.

4. Do you wear mom jeans?
Only mom's wear mom jeans.

5. Does your boyfriend/husband/one night stand look like this...

No need to check with a doctor,  you're pregnant.

I hope this helps. I was once a baby in a belly myself, so I think I know a little bit about being pregnant.

9 comments:

Felipe Domingos said...

I think I'm pregnant, no menstruation for 18 years.

Very very very funny man! Awesome!
Hahahahaha

John T. Quinn 3rd said...

mom jeans. it's funny because it's true.

Anonymous said...

E i think that man's belly not only has a baby inside of it but also has a pillowey cotton candy blanket too. Very funny stuff, you should write a sex ed book.
-ethan

Carrie Liao said...

Your wisdom astounds me!
Pregnancy tests are useless in comparison...

The mom jeans part was a particularly profound nugget of truth.

Sadie Figueroa said...

Hilarious!!!:D

Lee said...

Ha, You're a wasted talent, you should be teaching sex education all over the world!

brilliant

coNs said...

Thank you for makin me laugh so much :'D I'm gonna follow your blog from now, ahahaha

The Teenage Version Of Bridget Jones said...

Love it ! Quirky and clever xox

Tom Latvys said...

I actually just worked on the most recent season of this show as assistant editor, and I find this hilarious. So many babies in toilets...