Toy Story 3

For the first time ever, I helped make a movie! Well, actually I was an extra in Ang Lee's Hulk, and I helped my cousin upload a youtube video once, but this is waaaaaay different.

That's right, a real bona fide hollywood(not actually made in hollywood) film! I was really lucky to be a part of the awesome team who made Toy Story 3 . Lee Unkrich is a great director, Michael Arndt is a great writer, Jason Katz is a great story supervisor, and the story crew was the best! My friends, James Robertson and Adrian Molina did some amazing stuff and I can't wait to work with those guys again! 

It came out today, so go and see it! Stop reading this and GO! REALLY! Get in your car, drive to the theater, pay for the ticket- you know what to do! Okay no really, I'm being serious now. GO SEE THE MOVIE!! Alright, I'm sorry I yelled, I accidentally hit the caps lock and got carried away. Will you please go see it now...

Unsuper

Here are some superheroes doing some unsuper things...

Cyclops reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Aquaman drinking a vitamin water.

Wolverine looking for his car keys.

Batman pooping.

Tattoo Buddies

I don't have a tattoo, but if I did, I would go for a full body one.

I would look like a bad mother. I'd be tough as nails and no one would mess with me.

But late at night when I was alone, I would contort my body and the tattoo would become a mural of my favorite puppies from the Air Buddies movie franchise.

I'd recommend this type of tattoo if you want to show the world how f'n cool you are without sacrificing your softer sensitive side.

Here is a trailer for the newest Air Buddies movie, Space Buddies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W338J8XNHAc

Karaoke Guy

I was at a karaoke bar last week with this guy...

I didn't know him...but I wanted to. He wore giant gold framed sunglasses( at night in a dark bar) with matching gold chain. A dress shirt with adidas track jacket, basically the whole package. He would approach each girl in the bar, do air guitar, occasionally yell something in their ear and then they would walk away. This went on for most of the night....he must've gotten so many phone numbers.

JUSTICE IS AGE BLIND!

Over the weekend I saw an old lady in the market eating a bunch of baked goods.

Choking them down like they were an afternoon tea sandwich. She had NO SHAME!

Not twenty four hours later I saw this oldie...

She ripped out a flower plant in front of the bank and put it in her purse. Also, felt NO SHAME!

I realize you old people feel the law doesn't apply to you anymore. You just blame it on your alzheimers, cataracts, or prescription meds, well NO MORE!

Now you will have to deal with THE ANGEL OF DEATH!

That is my crime fighting alter ego. I've done some research and found out old people are scared of death.

Much like Kick-Ass I would patrol the streets, fighting crime between 3pm and 4pm, that's when most of old people do crime, and I would hang out in front of Souplantation on Sundays, and the eye doctor the rest of the week.

Your reign of terror is over. No longer will you violate flower beds, or eat pastries you didn't pay for. You sicken me!

"This donut is so tasty, I swear to God."

"SWEAR TO ME!!"

Sleep soundly tonight younger citizens. Your flower beds and donuts are safe in the hands of The Angel of Death.

Likes and Dislikes

Things I like:

People who still sell things from inside their coat.

The couple who sits next to each other in the cab of a truck.

A new episode of LOST.

Things I dislike:

A new episode of LOST.

The guy who stands in the Abercrombie and Fitch store and stares at everyone who walks by.

Desert Activity #27

When visiting the high desert there are many fun activities you can take part in. You can go rock climbing, see races at a dry lake bed, or start a meth lab. When I was growing up there, one of our favorite activities was hitting bats with pool skimmers.

Here are the steps so the next time you're visiting, lost, or have been kidnapped in the desert, you can do it too.

Items you'll need:
1. rocks
2. pool skimmer
3. sun setting
4. brother/friend
5. bats

Step 1: Collect rocks in your shirt basket(a shirt basket is when you lift the bottom of your shirt up past the navel to create a container).

Step 2: Ready your pool skimmer.

Step 3: Throw rocks 15 to 30 feet in the air.

Step 4: Bats will swoop down and try to eat the rocks because they think its a bug.

Step 5: Hit the bat with the pool skimmer.

Step 6: Give your partner a high-five.

Step 7: Repeat until your hearts content.

CostumeCON

COMIC-CON, the largest comic, film, and strange smell convention in the world is just around the corner. Although I won't be able to go this year, I did some sketches for possible costume ideas for this epic event. I am sure these costumes will be popular and in abundance.

Avatar from Avatar

Thanks to James Cameron, furry fandom is finally mainstream.

The Mad Hatter

Edward from New Moon 

And probably the most popular costume at the Con will be Jennifer Aniston from The Bounty Hunter

German Eye Poker

Something usually goes wrong when I fly and last weekend was no different. I was standing in line thinking about how delightful my trip went when a German guy poked me in the eye.

He was telling security about how he was just over in the other line, his arms and hands were flailing and ended up right in my looking ball.

He was very surprised and apologized profusely for the poke. I just stood there confused and hurt.

Security thought it was hilarious and said "He should buy you a beer!"

TrashFinder

Last week I was on my bike and I spotted a piece of plastic that was perfect for the bottom of my drawing desk. 

It was the right size and shape, but most importantly it had no trash smell.

I've had this super power since I was small. It's like a spidey sense but for garbage nobody wants.

I've even found perfectly good Nintendo 64's from three car lanes away. 

And in my lifetime I have collected over THIRTY SIX DOLLARS in ground money!!! I know what you're thinking, you want me to teach you this power so you can find all this free cash and forgotten treasure. Well to that I say.... this super power cannot be taught... and I'm too lazy to teach you... and I don't want people picking up trash that I can have... and it's more of a curse than a blessing... and with great power comes great responsibility... and nobody likes a guy who goes through garbage.

Although I think Lindsay loves my ability and never ceases to be amazed.

Biker Gangs

Northern California has a lot of bikers and I have fallen victim of the craze. I bike regularly, but its dangerous because Im not affiliated with any of the gangs. In doing some research here are some of the biker gangs I could see myself getting jumped in to.

The Hipster Biker
Very popular in northern California, but I would need skinnier jeans and a sweet mustache for them to even consider my application.

The Gross Hippie Biker
This gang frequents Venice Beach and Santa Monica. One of the many things I like about the gross hippie gang is their acceptance of others and the membership fees are probably pretty reasonable.

The Really Serious Biker
I don't know if my crotch is willing to commit to this type of biking but I would love the little water backpack sippers.

The Confused Biker
The most dangerous of all biker gangs is the gang of middle aged parents who look really unstable on two wheels. They take their teenagers ten speed and ride it like it was their first time on a bike. People run out of their way in terror. I would love to be a part of a gang so feared in the community.

I see I have some serious decision thinking to do.

Snooki and Me

I had a nightmare last night that Snooki from Jersey Shore was trying to make out with me.

I remember saying "Oh God, please don't, I don't want this."